10 Ways to Deal With Annoying Coworkers
Working with a team can be challenging at times. Working in an open concept office—like we do at Parallels—can be even more challenging. So how does one approach this workplace battlefield? As someone with experience, I’m here to help guide you:
Problem 1: The conference room poacher is back.
They see you, but they’re not moving, and you booked the conference room (your Microsoft Outlook says so).
Solution: Distract and disapprove.
Yelling “Free cake in the break room!” might work—if not, standing with your arms crossed over your chest while shaking your head and giving them a disapproving look should do the trick.
Problem 2: The social media guru won’t stop sharing.
We get it—you’re the coolest. But inserting hashtags into general conversation and spamming my inbox with “must-see” YouTube clips is getting unbearable. It’s kind of like listening to people still debating the color of “the dress”.
Solution: Give them a taste of their own medicine.
Just respond with “YOLO” whenever you come in contact with Mr. Cool. #FriendRequestDenied.
Problem 3: The desk mate with one-too-many tchotchkes invading your area.
Haven’t they ever heard of personal space?
Solution: Convert the tchotchkes.
This calls for a puppet show. Using their tchotchkes. While they’re on a call.
Problem 4: The loud typist.
This must be a learned skill because there’s no way someone can’t know they’re typing that loudly. Right?
Solution: Two can play that game.
Ping Pong match in the next door cubicle (obviously).
Problem 5: The wandering head-set talker.
…Who, of course, paces non-stop in the department nearby.
Solution: All’s fair in work and war.
Loaded Nerf gun + moving target = a fun-filled afternoon.
Problem 6: The late liar.
Blaming the poor, innocent dial-in number for you not being able to join a conference call is getting really old. How come no one ever calls these people out?
Solution: Exact some sweet revenge.
Make sure our tardy party knows that you’ve been on the line having a blast. Then plot your revenge. (Steal their mouse batteries…or their trash can…or unplug their phone. The possibilities are endless!)
Problem 7: The Debbie Downer.
You know, that person at the office who can never find the positive in a project. They obviously hate their life.
Solution: Get a “Fail” button.
Not one of those other office buttons—because a siren sound effect won’t cut it—you need the true sad trombone, “Wa Waa Waaa” sound for the most impact here. Use it whenever Debbie gets down.
Problem 8: The curry, Thai, and everything smelly lover.
Why does it seem that the person right next to you (I’m looking at you and your hard-boiled eggs, Lindsay) is constantly bringing in and reheating leftovers just to test you like you’re on an episode of Fear Factor or something?
Solution: Throw some shade.
An intimidating death stare is needed. Your eyes are already watering from their eggy lunch anyway, so it should come naturally.
Problem 9: Someone really, really loves Dubstep.
They’re rocking out with their headphones that need to come down about 10 volume levels. This is an office, not a nightclub.
Solution: Get your groove on.
This is obviously an invitation for a dance party. Get over there and shake it.
Problem 10: The email nagger.
You know this individual—they come to talk to you in person to tell you they sent an email seconds after they sent it.
Solution: Embrace your inner evil.
This situation is so dire it calls for a little hypocrisy—like the headphones-abuser in number nine, you’ve got to put in your headphones and crank it up.
If they really want your attention, they’ll give you a fun interpretive dance. And it better include jazz hands.
Well, we hope we’ve given some good advice on how to deal with your coworkers’ bad habits. In all seriousness, we love working on Team Parallels—particularly because we truly believe in our team and our own problem-solving products (like Parallels Desktop for Mac and Parallels Access). That being said, everyone has their idiosyncrasies!
(Shout out to our wonderful model Andrew for his ability to be so photogenic.)
Share your coworker horror stories with us in a comment, or reach out to us on Facebook or Twitter—we’d love to see how you problem-solve!
